MAYBE A DOG WILL DO!

Just over a year after Pat died, a friend of mine signed me up on one of those online dating sites.  I have not written about that experience but as life is settling down and I find I am having thoughts about how nice it would be to have a “friend” to do things with, I am thinking about the dating site again.  I mean how else does one meet anyone these days?

But going on a dating site is an adventure in pure craziness.  First how is one suppose to feel about having a line-up of over 100 men look at your profile and just pass you by.  I mean really, 100 men and not one is interested in me?  Boy that is not good for an ego.  I keep thinking of the conversation I had with my doctor when he asked if I was dating yet?  

“I think about it,” I said, “but when I see myself naked in the mirror I think—not yet.”  

“Have you checked out the guy sitting across the table from you?” he asked.  “He is no better.”

True, but that even makes the fact that so many can pass me by without an inquiry even worse.

Then I get excited because I finally get a message from an “admirer” and get told by him before two messages pass between us that he is in love with me and cannot wait to meet me but he is out of the country on business.  I immediately smell a rat.  I know my writing may at times seem interesting but how can you fall in love with “Hi, my name is…” is just a sign of pure desperation or a scam.  Neither is welcome!

I have seen three different men since Pat died.  The first acquaintance was short because I felt like I was cheating.  A sure sign I was not ready for the dating scene.

The second was too young.  Period.

The third man I saw, was very nice and felt very comfortable but I soon realized I was not ready to give up the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted and he was very vocal about wanting more from me than that.  Carrying for a sick husband for 13 years will do that to you….the freedom to come and go still tastes sweet.  

I am asking myself what is it that I am really looking for?  Truth?  I have no idea. It would be nice to find that someone who would enjoy a show now and then.  It would be fun to have a travel partner.  I have a desire to drive back roads to somewhere just for shits and giggles…going alone at my age is not smart these days.  Have not found a lady friend with that kind of spirit for adventure so I am open to anyone!  Umm....I wonder if a large dog would be good?  

Gee, now that I think about it a large dog would be good…he would gladly go where I wanted to go and not complain.  He would be thrilled to see me whenever I was with him and not complain if I was gone too long—okay he may pee on the floor but that is what paper towels and disinfectant are for.  He would protect me if I was in danger.  I wouldn’t have to cook because he would eat prepared food once a day.  And in the winter when it is cold, he would let me stick my cold feet under his warm belly and he would not complain.  Yep—maybe a dog would do.