DO NOT CALL LIST, WHERE ARE YOU?

I have been wondering lately about the “Do Not Call List”.  It is not working anymore—at least not at my house.  It is just wrong that my life can be interrupted anytime by anyone.  These calls  have the knack of coming at an inconvenient time (although for these calls there is no convent time).  I will just step up on the ladder, reach for the bulb and the phone will ring.  Down the ladder I come, search for the phone, find it,  only to discover it is a telemarketer or some stupid survey.  

Over the years I have had my fun with these unwelcome callers.  My favorite call came repeatedly from Olean Mills, a photography company that would call and offer you a free 8x10 photo of your family—no obligations, no sitting fee, just “let us take your family picture and you get the free 8x10 photo." One day, after saying no a dozen times and the caller insisting that she wanted to give me my free 8x10 of the family, I finally said, “Look, you don’t understand.  I never take pictures of my family.”

“But why?”, she asked.  

“”Because all my kids are ugly and I don’t want to upset them by taking their picture.”  

The gasp on the other end has given me many a chuckle over the years as I recalled this conversation.

I have tried different tactics over the years with these phone calls in hopes that they would leave me alone. 

I have this one company that would call 2 or 3 times a day.  After numerous times of asking that my number be taken off their list only to have them call me again, I  decided to respond to their calls by saying the same thing over and over to them when they would call.   “I’m sorry would you repeat that?”, then they would start all over again with their speech.  Once they got to the same spot, I would say again, “I’m sorry, would you please repeat that?”  I would repeat this until they hung up on me.

Once when a call came in from an “unknown” caller, I answered in a loud shouting voice, “HELLO.”  They would start talking and I would interrupt with “HELLO”, once again very loud.  I would repeat that until they too would hang up.

I’ve begun to weigh in on their sympathies.  The telemarketer will call and start their speech.  I would stop them with, “I’m sorry, but I have just been told I only have a short time to live.”  After stumbling over their words they would hang up.  In a couple of instances I have noticed that they don’t call me anymore.

When I’m involved with something and my annoyance level is high, I just answer the phone with, “The bitch is dead.  Don’t call any more”, and hang up.

Tonight someone sent me the following:  Getting tired of the phone calls from "Unknown" or "Blocked". Well the next time you get one, pick up the phone and answer in a whisper, "It's done, but there is blood everywhere." Then hang up.

You can bet I’ll be using this one!