My desire to surround myself with family during these times can be difficult because they are all so busy, so I try to busy myself. It does not always work. I had a conversation the other day with others my age and discovered most all of us are walking this walk, particularly those who have lost their life partner. We have all experienced loss and as days go by we discover that those that entered this world with us are leaving us with only those we gather or gave birth to along the way. What I heard in these conversations is that loneliness does not mean we are alone physically. It is more that we have lost the intimacy of the closeness in a relationship. To be intimate is to be let into someone's life. To feel needed, important, and most important, wanted. All seem fleeting in this world where everyone runs and has no time to slow down.
Saying this, I know I am luckier than some others. I know there are those out there that never had an opportunity to create a family, so in watching them traverse through this period is interesting. The common link for us is finding people that will let us into their life allowing for the sense of purpose. Yes, we volunteer, we help, we give, but always something is missing in the end. Intimacy. Sharing. Belonging. The other day I was in conversation with a friend who celebrates names. Yes, names. The history of names. How we got them. Why we got them. He is from Ireland. By the end of the conversation, we determined that we here in America long to belong to a "tribe." We miss that personal sense of identity and belonging.
So as we enter this holiday season, take the time to look into the eyes of the older generation. Let them know they are not forgotten. We will all be enriched if you find a way to let them into your life.
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy 50th to me!
