BETTER THAN SITTING ON THE COUCH!

By the time this week ends I will have traveled with David in a Popup camper almost 10,000 miles!  I have made many observations along the way, some of which surprised me.  First, I am surprised at how many people permanently camp for the season in one campground!  In most every campsite we have stayed (except for the state parks) we found more than one half the sites filled with permanent campers.  And it didn’t seem to matter if it was near some great tourist spot, out in the desert, or in the middle of the woods, every private campground we stayed at had permanent seasonal campers.  

We seem to see more campers out West than anywhere else we traveled.  In fact, we saw more RV retail shops out West than anywhere else also!  

We have seen all kinds of campgrounds during this past couple of months too.  But the most fun campground we stayed at was Pure Country Campground in New York.  It was a campground for horse owners.  Of course, if there was room, it could accommodate people like us too!  They have different events all season long drawing in horse owners from all over.  The atmosphere was country rustic with a horse theme, and it created a fun atmosphere for everyone in attendance.  While we were there they had a midnight ride through their 130 miles of trails (it was a full moon).   

The Rolls Royce of campgrounds was in Geneva By the Lake in Ohio.  (It was also the most expensive), but the accommodations for campers were top notch!  It definitely held court when it came to the bathroom/shower setups.  They get the award for the cleanest and best appearance!  If only all campgrounds would put more effort into the shower/bathroom area!   

Campers too are a special lot.  It does not matter what our backgrounds are.  It is the love of outdoors and exploring that seems to be the common core.  We often felt like the “country cousin” compared to the huge RV’s that would surround us, but it didn’t seem to matter to anyone as conversations were easy to have with everyone.  

Mostly “old” people owned RV’s while we found more young families camping in tents or popups like us.  We even noticed some young people zipping up in a sleeping-bag-hammock.  Now that is roughing it!

What I found interesting was meeting people like David and me out on the road.  We met at least three couples just like us…having lost spouses and finding someone new later in life.  Due to the fun, we shared a common attitude about how lucky we felt!

The most amazing thing to me was to see how beautiful this country is!  No matter where we were, we discovered a uniqueness to what we experienced yet at the same time, a small town feel which meant kindnesses given.  If we asked anything we were showered with information, kindness, and help.  

And that brings me to this.  The best thing about our road trip was cutting off the political crap!  Oh, I would check in now and then to see if we were at war with anyone, but for the most part, we watched no TV, listened to no news, or gave one thought to the political divide.  In fact what we saw was that every local paper we picked up had little or no political news in it.  It mostly contained local happenings or state information.  Newspapers around big cities would contain more of the political issues of the day.

Now I know I cannot totally ignore politics (I do take my citizenship seriously) but I also realize that now and then a break from the “crazy” is also important for one’s mental health.  

This summer has fulfilled a lifelong dream of mine to wander the roads of this country to see what I could see and meet people from many walks of life.  We have only passed through 21 different states so I know there is much more to explore.  At my age, I never thought I would see this day, but meeting Dave, who processes the same kind of wanderlust as me, has been pure joy!  We have learned together that age does not mean anything, especially when we are lucky to have our health and keep our attitude positive.  As Dave has said to me almost every day of this trip, “It’s better than sitting on a couch!”

GPS, I LOVE YOU BUT…

Another fun adventure today.  This time in the Springfield, Missouri area.  First, we headed out to explore the Ozark Mountains but we got sidetracked when we stopped in Camping World and as we left Charlie, the salesman said, “You should take time to stop at Lambert’s Cafe.  Only if you go, go early as if you wait until 5 p.m. you won’t get in until after 8 p.m.”

Having Lambert’s Cafe on our to-do list we looked at each other and decided lunch first would be a good idea.  Now if you have not heard of Lambert’s Cafe in Springfield, you are missing something fun and good!  We first became aware of it on Diners and Dives.  Its reputation is known for its down-home cooking and throwing the rolls at you.  Yes, I said throwing the rolls.  Hot Rolls.  So hot that when you catch them you are shocked at the heat!

The food was good old-fashioned comfort food.  Fried chicken and hamburger steak were our choices and they brought enough for two people to eat off of one plate.  But that was not all.  They have what they call “pass arounds.”  People would come by with a large bucket of either fried okra, macaroni, and cheese with tomatoes, fried potatoes, or black-eyed peas on top of that and serve you up just as much as you like.  Still not full?  Well just let them know and they would have brought another entree portion of the meat!

At 11:30 a.m. we found the place packed! We managed to get right in and served.  When we left an hour later we found a waiting line already out to the parking lot!  The place was jumping but I tell you if you ever find yourself near Springfield make it a point to drop in!

 After our lunch, we plugged Ozark Mountains into our GPS.  It took us through Branson Missouri, which was an interesting place to drive through.  I hear the shows are great but the town leaves a lot to be desired in looks.  It feels and acts more like a circus!  And if you ever go shop around.  We stopped at a Visitor’s center just as we entered Branson and it turned out they were a sales company disguised as a visitor center wanting to sell you tickets and accommodations with promises to save you 50%.  As we drove through we saw signs that announced 70% off ticket prices.  Duped is how one must feel if they order tickets ahead of time at full price!  There were ticket brokers from one end of town to another!

The peak in the Ozark Mountains

Once through there and Table Rock Lake, our GPS continued to direct us to the “Ozark Mountains.”  Let me say right off, that relying solely on GPS can be risky.  We found we also needed maps and at times with the maps and GPS we were making adjustments.  Today we had no maps.  So we let the GPS guide us into the hills and hollers of the mountain.  Rolling hills, peaks that looked down over rolling hills, and poverty are what we found.  We found the GPS directed us to a dead-end street somewhere in the mountains.  I guess that was the middle of the Ozarks?  We found it does this when we just put in a town…it directs us  to the center of town and says, “You have arrived.”  We reached an area where we had no service so we had to pick a direction and drive, laughing that we could find ourselves lost forever in the hills we kept driving hoping that service would return and we would find our way out.  We eventually did of course but discovered we came out somewhere down in Arkansas!  Another state on our list!  

Having a GPS is great when it works, but learning to never take it for granted is important!  Keeping a road atlas and/or local maps with you is all important because the GPS will sometimes take you down roads that in itself could be an adventure!  Ask us about it sometime!

CAMPING…AN EXERCISE IN FLEXIBILITY

Camping I’m discovering is an art form.  One that with experience I’m learning to navigate joyfully.  I have discovered a hardiness to campers.  Oh, I’m not talking about the big RV kind of camper, where people have taken all the home conveniences with them…no, I’m talking about the tent and pop-up people who get challenged now and then by the conditions!  Too cold, too hot, too wet, too windy but mostly too cold…goose-bump cold…toes crying for help cold…those are the campers I am talking about!  I am enjoying not being in my comfort zone, stepping away from routine and seeing and experiencing so many new and wonderful things.

First, I am in awe to discover so much of our country is desert or mountainous and those living there face challenges that many of us in the metropolitan areas take for granted.  I can go shopping 2 miles down the road…these people have to travel great distances often over an hour away just to stock simple food items.  Water that comes from a faucet, without thought  to many of us (unless you have a well then you tend to be more keenly aware of what is going on), but all the same the convenience of just turning on that faucet to cook or shower…for many that we have seen out west it is an ordeal making water something you don’t take for granted.  In the mountains, we saw signs for winter preparation encouraging the locals to fill out forms to place their order for case-lots of goods to have in store for the long enduring winters.  Men, paying $20 for 4 cords of wood that he could pluck from the National Forest to enable warmth for his home in the winter.  Hardy men and women…strong stock…tough…I am completely in awe of their hardiness in living everyday life.

Another thing we noticed is that not many local newspapers carry much about politics.  It is mostly news about townspeople or the local municipalities. It struck me as we noticed the lack of national news, that this is what Newspapers use to be.  Papers touting what the local community people did along with the local municipalities activities.  These are the events that have an effect on everyday lives.  I do a lot of old newspaper research for my family history projects and have commented before that newspapers of old were basic gossip rags.  Maybe if they went back to more of that they would sell more newspapers.

The biggest thing I have seen in my travels is that all campgrounds are not equal.  When one camps the way David and I are camping, clean showers and bathrooms are the most important.  Laundry is a luxury and we look for that when we need to do laundry but for the most part, it is the bathroom situation.  We have stayed at National Parks and State Parks (more often than not they are cheaper than privately owned ones) and find they are often cleaner in the shower and bathroom area than some of the paid-for camps we stayed at.  Just saying to the campsite owners of the world out there, if you want repeat business then clean up your act.  I know people can be slobs but if you provide a respectable facility people would take better care of it….(I would hope!)

Other things I have learned while camping is to try not to forget your underwear when you go to the showers.  The first couple of times I did this, really caught me off guard.  What do I do?  Now I keep a pair in my shower bag, just in case.  I’ve been good, this last pair I put in the bag has been there for two weeks.  I am getting better.  (Note:  this morning I forgot my underwear.  That will teach me to feel too cocky.  That being said I still could not use the pair in my shower bag because they had gotten wet from my body wash bag…go figure!)

I also need to remember to take a good towel for drying off and one to stand on once you are done in the shower.  With showers not all equal, most all showers throw as much water outside the shower stall as in, so finding a dry spot on the floor can be impossible…besides some of the floors were not something you wanted to put your clean wet feet on anyway!  

I have discovered also that I have a balance problem.  Standing on one foot, with nothing to lean against (at least nothing I wanted to put my naked body up against), trying to put my one foot inside a pant leg and not let that pant leg touch the wet floor is challenging to this 70-year-old.  I must say though, after 3 weeks of practice I am getting better!  I have learned a new one-foot dance in the process!  

The latest lesson to come our way is that if you choose to camp in the desert, watch where you walk.  Last night as I returned from the bathroom I was suddenly in crazy pain with something sticking in my feet.  Apparently, in walking across the lawn I was unaware of this weed with tiny little sharp stickers that immediately stuck to my shoe top and bottom, pant legs and anything else it managed to touch.  I’m still finding remnants on the rug with my bare feet!  

There are many joys too in this camping arena…like right now sitting here typing this, the neighbor to us is serenading the space with his guitar and singing…a wonderful thing!

With the road trip not finished yet, I am sure there are more lessons to learn, but the greatest is to let go, be flexible, not take life too seriously and have fun!

9/21/2017

AAA LET US DOWN

This writing finds me driving down highway 40 in Texas….okay not driving but a passenger in the car…just saying…anyway yesterday our adventure was a bit more challenging than any time on this trip but we both felt pleased with how we handled the situation as well as how it turned out.

We got our first flat tire.  The camper tire went out and the question carried in David’s mind “What would happen if a camper tire blew,” was answered.  Fortunately, his driving skills and his ability to act without question saved us from having anything bad happen.  We were able to pull off the side of the road far enough to stay out of harm's way.  After a brief moment of “Oh shit, what do we do?”  We both went about doing what we could.  He spent time figuring out if he could change the tire himself, and I got on the phone to AAA.  

Now I have had AAA for years and the few times I have used it has been home and I have always been grateful for the service and without a doubt have felt no matter the cost the service was worth it when you are out on the road alone.  But to say I was a disappointed in how this action with AAA went down would be an understatement.

When I called, I got transferred to the area I was broke down, Alburqueke NM.  They had to verify my account, which I had no problem with, but then for some strange reason they started asking me about names on my account and began giving me a hard time because I couldn’t name anyone.  My daughter was once on my account and so was my late husband, but why that should matter is a mystery to me, because I am on the account too!

Because I was getting such a run around David pulled out his AAA card and we used his number.  It turns out that they would have to charge us to change the trailer tire.  I replied that was okay because we did not have a choice.  “Two 70 plus-year-old people needed help,” I said.  

The next challenge was trying to tell them where we were.  You see highway 40 does not use mile markers and we couldn’t remember the last exit we passed.  “Do you have any signs around you or buildings you can describe?” she asked.  “No, we are in the middle of the desert and there is nothing but tumbleweed and rocks for as far as the eye can see,” I replied.  Saved by my Iphone’s  compass and its ability to locate your position through the Longitude and Latitude they were able to pinpoint just where we were (Yea iPhone Compass!!!!). 

"We will call you with an estimated time of arrival as soon as we contact the driver.  Just hang in there, we will be there as soon as we can, “ she went on to say.

I hung up, confident we were okay and told David of the conversation.  In the meantime, he was figuring out if he could change the tire himself.  The motivation got high when I explained to him they would be charging us to come change the tire because we didn’t have RV coverage.  I had tried to explain to them that it was not an RV, but a small trailer camper…did not matter they would have to charge because we did not carry the extra coverage.

It was no time that David managed to pull off the lug-nuts and change the tire.  We were lucky.  We started down the road to find a tire place to pick up a new tire, and I tried calling back AAA to cancel the call.  Getting cut off twice, I decided that I would tell them when they called with an arrival time.  

It is now over 24 hours later and we still have not received that call from AAA to say when they were coming.  Needless to say, I’ll be contacting them to express my disappointment in this situation.  Since Pat has been gone, I have never been afraid to travel alone.  I had so much confidence in AAA to be there to bail me out of any problem I might find myself in.  That has changed.

ADVENTURING WITH DAVID

Okay, so traveling is an adventure, but traveling with David is not only an adventure but an experience never to forget.  It’s his sense of humor and attitude that makes this memorable.

Our traveling days have been anywhere from 4 to 6 hours when we move from one spot to another.  In this past week, we have experienced cold nights  (38 degrees) to warm nights (60 plus degrees). And that is just one spot to another!  So this morning we wake up and it was cold!  How cold you ask?  Well when I took my shower, the shampoo was so cold on my head it made it hurt and the body wash was cold enough to give me goosebumps!

By the time I got out of the shower, dried off and got dressed I began to adjust to the temperatures.  When I came back to the camper, I find David sitting in his chair, having coffee in the sun.  He turns to me and says, “Boy, where else could you go and have 48 degrees not feel bad because the sun is on you!”

“Yea right,” I half mutter…” where else can you feel like this?  I think when I go back home, and my heater goes out I won’t be upset as it will be just like camping!”

I must say he does watch out for me. When we arrive at a new campsite he insists strongly that we get close to the bathroom.  He says he feels guilty that I have to walk so far to go.  Me?  I call it the walk with the “night stalkers.”  I find I am rarely alone.  There was the one night when a young man, waiting outside the ladies room for his girlfriend, jumped out at me as I left the bathroom thinking I was her.  Made my heart rush for sure and he could not have apologized for making me jump.  I laughed all the way to the campsite!

During one middle-of-the-night potty run, I came out of the bathroom and was greeted by two deer.  I stopped, they stopped, we stared at each other and then both of us went on our way.  It was too cold and damp to stand there!

There is also a lot of self-discovery on this trip.  I am tougher than I thought.  I can handle being cold.  I don’t miss TV.  I love meeting new people (okay this has always been a given for me). If you stick a flannel sheet inside your sleeping bag it feels warmer!  Hot showers take away the nighttime chill.  You don’t need a lot to get through a day.  (So I wonder why I have so much shit back home!)  Eating simply (without available snacks) causes one to lose weight!  I don’t know how much I have lost on this trip, but with all the walking, moving and no snacking my pants now go on and off without unzipping.

At this writing, we are beginning to make the turn toward home which means the adventures are not done yet.  We have been on the road for almost 3 weeks now and it has been great fun.

Here are a few more things I have heard while camping.  They made me giggle…I’ll let you decide!

“I always like to measure before I stick it in.”

“No, I am not sure that is not poison ivy.”  (Are you as confused as me?)

“Too many rocks in the mountains.”

“We did it twice last year and couldn’t resist doing it again.”  (I couldn’t hear what they were talking about so my mind just took it away and I could not stop laughing!”

“I try and limit how much I unzip.”

That’s all for now…more later!

THE JOY OF DISCOVERY

Traveling through the Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Teton Mountains, along with the Crazy Horse Memorial, this visit has been a very special time for me.  Some spots left me with emotions without words.  The grandeur of these places has to be seen in person to understand the wonder.  

What is also awe inspiring to me, is the ruggedness of those who live and work in these places.  It is not an easy life.  Conveniences are hard to come by.  For those of us showing up here expecting our needs to be met around the next corner are taken back by the time and distance that has to be traveled to stock up on essentials.  Water has to be collected in 350-gallon containers carried in the back of pickup trucks or trailers to fill the cisterns back at their homes.  Most every house you see on a hill has no convenient water source.  Even some electric is hard to come by.  We saw lots of solar panels on homes.  

Our conversations with locals shared stories of snow four feet high on most winter days.  Imagine the stock one has to think of to be able to manage the time snowed in.  On most of the major highways we drove, there were signs that read, “When flashing road closed.  Turn back to (insert name of town leaving at that moment).  Imagine, the way storms can blow in suddenly and you cannot get home.  Living high up in elevation has its challenges and I admire the people who make these places their home.

Another awe-inspiring discovery were the bikers of this world.  Not the motor kind…the kind you have to pedal.  I stopped one man who proudly told me he was 68.  I told him I was in awe of his ability…riding on hills with 6 to 10% grade, 5000 to 9900 feet in elevation.  I was at times having trouble walking and catching my breath in this thin air let alone pedaling a bike up a hill.  We noticed many gray-haired people riding and each one left me inspired.  

We camped next to another couple while in Yellowstone who, like David and I, lost their spouses, found each other and were having the time of their life traveling and enjoying what days left to them.  They were funny and so enjoyable that David and I hope to catch up to them again somewhere in these great United States!

This spontaneous-follow our nose-no plans trip has been pure joy!  I am glad to be able to do this that I have always dreamed about but more importantly have found someone to share the joy of discovery with.  It has made it that much more special.  We are not done yet.  We have begun our journey home but if it goes like we came it will be a zig-zag one for sure!

LIVING SPONTANEOUSLY

Living the good life!

If I had to choose one word to describe this summer it would be “Spontaneous.”  Having to be flexible due to my temporary living situation and finding a traveling soul mate who has shown me living out of a suitcase can be fun has made this summer most memorable.  

Meeting David has been a joy and in such a short time he has taken me to places I had only dreamed about or read about in books.  We presently are on a road trip now…no plans…just following our noses and it has been wonderful.  We started out saying goodbye to a friend up in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania.  Then decided spontaneously to head West…maybe Yellow Stone National Park.  But we have not taken a straight line…no, we decided to head up to the Niagara Falls, both the American and Canadian side.  Well heck, since we were there why not just drive across Canada and drop down the west side of the Great Lakes.  Since we are so close to Mackinac Island, why not go see that too!  And this is how it is going.  

Camping along the way has also been an experience.  I learn something new every day and eves dropping on conversations sends me into a fit of giggles….you tell me if I am wrong to laugh…I’ll share some of the things I have overhead while camping.

“My one end is bigger than your hole.”  (Now tell me how can I not laugh at this one!)

“I’m too far forward, I can’t reach my thing.”

“I’m glad you carry your stick with you.”

“I need more Vaseline.”

“I'm good. You sure got me going now!”

“You have to stick it in and pull it out. Stick it in and pull it out.” (I have no idea what they were doing, but I started to laugh so hard I got side stickers.”

“When it's cold I have trouble finding it. “

I think David is getting used to my spontaneous burst of laughter.  He is patient until I find self-control to share what took me there. I think he is beginning to think I am a bit daffy!

Traveling with David is a comedy all of its own.  We walked into a bar/restaurant one day and there were some rough looking bikers with their leather and beards.  David turns to me and says, “I use to be a biker you know.”  “ Oh yeah,” I replied in surprise. “What did you ride?”

“ An 18-inch Schwinn, with cards in the spokes.  It had a cool sound.”

When we were up in Maine, we left the campsite and headed up to New Brunswick, Canada.  Before leaving a lady told us that along the way we should check out this place where they had the best clam chowder she ever ate.  Not quite remembering, but thinking we might be close we turned into a road that took us on a small island, filled with lobster traps and middle classes homes.  As we drove around looking for a restaurant where there were hopes of finding this great clam chowder, we stopped and asked a guy who had just got out of his car.  “Hello Mister, someone told us we could find the best clam chowder around here.  Do you have any idea where this might be?” we asked.

“Well, let me think,” he says, “if you follow this around and turn left at the corner by the green house, and then take the second right…” pausing he gives us a funny look and continues, “You two look confused.  Follow me and I’ll take you there.”  With that, he jumps back into his car and drives us to the restaurant he thought we should try.  He was right.  Looking confused is our past time!

The funniest conversation I have had with David so far took place just as we were leaving for our trip.  I had not arrived at his place yet and he called to ask me if I could stop at Dick’s to pick up a canopy that was on sale.  I replied, “There are no Dicks between you and me.”  I then broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

There is just no good way to say it.  Who thought of ever naming their business Dicks.  Then as we drove through Minnesota we saw a chain of Dicks Family Food Marts.  Okay, there is more than one Dick!  I ain’t saying no more!

More to follow!

SO LONG DEAR FRIEND...UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

Lake Wallenpaupack Dam

Standing on the deck's edge I take my last look out over the valley and Lake Wallenpaupack as I prepare to say goodbye to a dear friend and a boatload of memories.  Times like this remind me how fleeting time is.  I stand and try to sear in my minds eye the view but know that the moment I close my eyes or turn my back it will be but a memory that with time will be harder to recall. 

With Audrey leaving for her new home in Door County, Wisconsin this October, there will be no call for me to return to this area.  No reason to drive down the road and pass a memory of my own with Pat and the kids camping at Willson Camp grounds, or fishing and getting the worst sunburn of my life while falling asleep in the back end of the boat while Pat fished in the front end on Fairview Lake.  

Yes, saying goodbye is a bittersweet moment.  Aging can make these moments feel tougher.  In our youth, we thought nothing of turning our back on where we stood and move on.  The change came easy for the most part because we were making it happen and replacing it with some new adventure, place or friend.  Aging does not allow for such quick replacements.  It takes time and good health, often both of these are elusive to an old person.

This makes me feel lucky.  As change is big on my plate these days with selling my home and basically living homeless until the completion of my new livings space, I am recognizing the importance of being flexible.  Living out of a suitcase for over 3 months will help you understand that.  Living in another person’s home will slam that fact in your face quickly.  I found I am either doing something (like traveling or visiting friends) or doing NOTHING…which after awhile gets to me.  So, to keep myself grounded and moving forward I have been lucky in finding a friend who likes to travel as spontaneously as I do, so in between doing NOTHING I have been traveling and building a new friendship which has been a joy!

Until we meet again Audrey, I say farewell and safe journey to your new home.  I will cherish the times we have spent together and look forward to traveling again to Door County and the Coyote Roadhouse for their delicious Pot Pie!

ALONE-LONELY-ALONE

In my youth, being alone as I would adventure out into the world was fun, exciting and full of promise.  In time, when I met my late husband, being alone now and then meant relieve from the pressure of life and raising the four babies.  After my husband died, being alone meant lonely.  Oh boy, what a difference!  It is all a matter of choice.  I chose to be alone when I was young or wanted to escape from the pressures of life, but being alone after losing a life partner is not a choice.

In the five years that he has been gone, the struggle was to find my way and develop a purpose in living and life.  I have been lucky.  Caring for someone through the dying process can be difficult when it happens over a long period of time.  In a discussion recently with a friend who is also a widow, we talked about the difference between losing someone over a long period of time vs a short or sudden loss.  And we both realized how fortunate we were in our journey.  When you care for someone over a long duration, there is a shared grief that happens between you and the one you love.  A long goodbye but time for words, tears, and a sharing that when death happens fast, does not occur. 

I found relieve at Pat’s passing.  A lifting of burdens.  That is when the loneliness hit me.  No purpose.  No one to care for.  No one to care about what I did, thought, or wanted.  The feeling of being a fish alone in the sea.  

I worked on finding a way to make peace with this period of my life.  I kept doing, and playing, and going places.  More often alone than not.  It was hard at times.  The feeling you could disappear off the side of a cliff wondering if anyone would notice.  Wondering how long I would be gone before anyone would check on me.  Not good thoughts and work had to be done to settle these feelings.

I never expected or counted on the idea that I would be lucky enough to ever find someone again.  I mean, look around.  There are more widows out there than single men to stand by their side. Life’s journey is what it is and we all must make peace where we stand.  And I did.  I kept moving and found I could get through the days.  Always being open to new experiences and meeting new people that opened the door to new adventures.  I love meeting new people and getting to know their story.  There are many heroes out in the world.  Many courageous souls who carry heartaches yet still find ways to enjoy their days.  I looked for them in my journey, always searching for clues on how to get through them myself.  

It took a while for me to be happy where I stood, but I did.  I am okay and began to make plans to find ways to play until the time comes that I can’t anymore.  Determined not to reach the end of my days with “coulda/shoulda’s” in my thinking.  

Loneliness was pushed away by my activities.  Oh, there still were those moments when I left an event where I was genuinely having a good time,  entered my car, closed the door and felt the hammer of my aloneness slam me in the face.  Those continue to be difficult to deal with at times.

Then something happened.  My willingness to continue to take chances, go places and meet new people placed me in the path of someone, who like me, was at peace with doing things alone, yet…there was that one spot missing…that one desire to have some shared experiences with someone.  Me, looking for someone to do some traveling with, share some experiences with and him just looking for someone to meet up with now and then, “A dinner or a movie,” he said. 

There we stood, fumbling with the rules of how to do this in our 70’s…yet each time we got together we discovered over and over again how wonderful to find that special someone to fill our days and share our experiences.  Both afraid to think of anything but the moment at hand, worried that to think anything else would jinx the good thing we have found, we continue to grow and plan and enjoy each time we are together.  

I don’t know where or how this will end.  We both are enjoying the times we are together and find ourselves making plans and wanting to share them with each other.  Being alone now is not so lonely, except for the fact that I miss him and hope always he misses me.  But alone now is not filled with the loneliness that I carried before I met him.  I am one lucky broad!

I LOVE FACEBOOK

I hear some say that Facebook is a waste of time.  They go on about how they don’t bother and don’t want anything to do with it. It’s just a bunch of fake news.  I will say that the politics of our nation has brought forth some crap that I could just as well do without, but I cannot disagree more with the premise that Facebook is a waste of time.  If not for Facebook I wouldn’t be able to keep up on the activities of my nieces, nephews, cousins, grandchildren, or long distance friends and family.  In a world that competes for our time, it is a joy to stay on top of what is going on with those who have played a role in my life.

Along with old high school classmates, long lost coworkers, or old neighbors from neighborhoods that I have long ago left, I occasionally hear from old friends from a childhood I don’t dwell on.  Recently I had another reach out on Facebook that has taken me back down memory lane.

As I have shared in my past blogs, my childhood is not anything I ever want to recall or live over.  Yet, with my adult life being what it is, I can’t help but ponder now and again where the idea of choice came from.  So the recent reach out from a childhood relationship took me down memory lane and reminded me that just because bad things happened to me, it never meant that there were not moments of happiness too.  After years of reflection, I believe it was this kind of moments that allowed me to see there were other ways of living, showing me that there was the choice of how to live that life.  In a child fraught with chaos and hurt, it as a seed that was planted that would show me one day how to do it different…living that is!

Specifically, there were two times in my childhood that provided me with the kind of insight that has carried me into my adult life.  One came from the period where my parents made friends with two families, the Reinharts and the Donats, that showed us some happy times surrounded by families who gave love freely.  It was a short period as most of my parent's friendships didn’t last too long, but still provided us a couple of summers that were full of fun and carefree days of joyful gatherings and childhood friendships.   For me, the Donat family has always carried a special place in my heart. First, their son, gave me my first ever kiss.  A girl just never forgets that!  But the family was full of life, love, and generosity.   I still can see Mrs. Donat making her homemade spaghetti sauce.  It was an all day process.  Tasting, testing, adding a pinch of this and a pinch of that.  I was fascinated by the process and recognized even at that age how much love and pride went into her sauce.  And the sauce?  I will tell you I have spent a lifetime searching for the flavor I remember from that time.  I remember the family being close, connected, and generous with each other.  When their friendship parted from my parents, it was a sad time for me.  I missed the fun that we experienced when they were around.

The other time was when I met Paul Leuthe’s family from Milwaukee.  They were a loving Catholic family and although Paul and I “liked” each other, it was his family and the love they displayed for each other that drew me in.  They are the reason I became Catholic.  I can still remember a weekend visit, surrounded by a table full of kids, waiting until midnight so they could order a pizza with sausage…a meatless Friday ritual.  They would invite me to attend church with them on Sunday and I found myself filled with the emotion of the service.  Once I graduated from high school and had a job working for the Navy, I would pass by St. Gilbert’s in Grayslake, Illinois, on my way home. I started attending Sunday Mass and then one day while driving home I pulled in, knocked on the rectory door, and announced to Father Laske that I wanted to convert.

“Getting married?” he asked. 

“No,” I responded.  “I just want to become Catholic.”

Both of these families showed me by their living, that there could be joy in sitting around a table, having discussions, playing games, and sharing.  Both of these families provided a peek into the kind of life I wanted to create for myself when I became an adult.  I got lucky.  I met a man who provided just that for me, so when I left Illinois at age 19, I never looked back.

Facebook has provided me an opportunity to say thank you (at least to one of these families), for showing me the possibility of living a loving life! 

Thank you!

PURLOIN OF THE PRIVY

So when you hang out with two old educators you pick up a different take on life in the Paupack neighborhood.   

When I visit my friend, I am surrounded by bucolic surroundings, with deer, bear, and the sounds of birds permeating my every core!  Who would think that the excitement in the neighborhood would be the purloining of the privy!  

The phone rang.  

“Someone purloined the privy!”  

“What?  The privy?”

“Yes, I saw them load it in the truck.”

“Call the neighbor and see what he knows.”

A few minutes later, after a call to the neighbor the phone rang again.  

“He’s not there so I didn’t find out anything.  We will wait until he gets back then I’ll check.”

So two little old ladies, sitting on the front porch watching the purloining of the privy…not knowing what to do, trying to figure out from a distance what is going on in the neighborhood wait for their friend's return to see if he knows the scoop on the privy.

I could only sit and giggle at the conversation between these two old friends.  

Coming home from a trip to the grocery store we hear the beep of the telephone message machine.  My friend goes to the phone and hears, “Harry is in jail.”  She hangs up.  Audrey calls her old friend and says, “Coffee’s on, pie cut, come down and tell me everything!”

“I’m not wearing my bra,” Tempe says.

“No one cares, just come over the way you are!”

So now we are all hanging out over coffee, pie, and the stories of police, gunshots, and road chases. 

“Things are just not the same as they use to be,” they lament.  

“Remember when the neighbor first moved in and I went to the door with flowers and some home baked goods and a welcome to the neighborhood?” Audrey asked.

“Yes, then we found out he was a thief!”  

Both robustly laughing at the memories of a neighborhood in transition, one gets the sense that these two are the last caretakers in their community.  

As I watch my friend prepare to leave her home and move out with her son in Wisconsin, I can’t help but wonder if she is not going to miss this life in Paupack and the old friends who can still make her feel young!

By the way, the privy was not purloined.  It was being repaired.  It took days to figure out, but it kept the two old friends on the lookout.  

Just keeping the neighborhood safe!