ADVENTURING WITH DAVID

Okay, so traveling is an adventure, but traveling with David is not only an adventure but an experience never to forget.  It’s his sense of humor and attitude that makes this memorable.

Our traveling days have been anywhere from 4 to 6 hours when we move from one spot to another.  In this past week, we have experienced cold nights  (38 degrees) to warm nights (60 plus degrees). And that is just one spot to another!  So this morning we wake up and it was cold!  How cold you ask?  Well when I took my shower, the shampoo was so cold on my head it made it hurt and the body wash was cold enough to give me goosebumps!

By the time I got out of the shower, dried off and got dressed I began to adjust to the temperatures.  When I came back to the camper, I find David sitting in his chair, having coffee in the sun.  He turns to me and says, “Boy, where else could you go and have 48 degrees not feel bad because the sun is on you!”

“Yea right,” I half mutter…” where else can you feel like this?  I think when I go back home, and my heater goes out I won’t be upset as it will be just like camping!”

I must say he does watch out for me. When we arrive at a new campsite he insists strongly that we get close to the bathroom.  He says he feels guilty that I have to walk so far to go.  Me?  I call it the walk with the “night stalkers.”  I find I am rarely alone.  There was the one night when a young man, waiting outside the ladies room for his girlfriend, jumped out at me as I left the bathroom thinking I was her.  Made my heart rush for sure and he could not have apologized for making me jump.  I laughed all the way to the campsite!

During one middle-of-the-night potty run, I came out of the bathroom and was greeted by two deer.  I stopped, they stopped, we stared at each other and then both of us went on our way.  It was too cold and damp to stand there!

There is also a lot of self-discovery on this trip.  I am tougher than I thought.  I can handle being cold.  I don’t miss TV.  I love meeting new people (okay this has always been a given for me). If you stick a flannel sheet inside your sleeping bag it feels warmer!  Hot showers take away the nighttime chill.  You don’t need a lot to get through a day.  (So I wonder why I have so much shit back home!)  Eating simply (without available snacks) causes one to lose weight!  I don’t know how much I have lost on this trip, but with all the walking, moving and no snacking my pants now go on and off without unzipping.

At this writing, we are beginning to make the turn toward home which means the adventures are not done yet.  We have been on the road for almost 3 weeks now and it has been great fun.

Here are a few more things I have heard while camping.  They made me giggle…I’ll let you decide!

“I always like to measure before I stick it in.”

“No, I am not sure that is not poison ivy.”  (Are you as confused as me?)

“Too many rocks in the mountains.”

“We did it twice last year and couldn’t resist doing it again.”  (I couldn’t hear what they were talking about so my mind just took it away and I could not stop laughing!”

“I try and limit how much I unzip.”

That’s all for now…more later!

THE JOY OF DISCOVERY

Traveling through the Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Teton Mountains, along with the Crazy Horse Memorial, this visit has been a very special time for me.  Some spots left me with emotions without words.  The grandeur of these places has to be seen in person to understand the wonder.  

What is also awe inspiring to me, is the ruggedness of those who live and work in these places.  It is not an easy life.  Conveniences are hard to come by.  For those of us showing up here expecting our needs to be met around the next corner are taken back by the time and distance that has to be traveled to stock up on essentials.  Water has to be collected in 350-gallon containers carried in the back of pickup trucks or trailers to fill the cisterns back at their homes.  Most every house you see on a hill has no convenient water source.  Even some electric is hard to come by.  We saw lots of solar panels on homes.  

Our conversations with locals shared stories of snow four feet high on most winter days.  Imagine the stock one has to think of to be able to manage the time snowed in.  On most of the major highways we drove, there were signs that read, “When flashing road closed.  Turn back to (insert name of town leaving at that moment).  Imagine, the way storms can blow in suddenly and you cannot get home.  Living high up in elevation has its challenges and I admire the people who make these places their home.

Another awe-inspiring discovery were the bikers of this world.  Not the motor kind…the kind you have to pedal.  I stopped one man who proudly told me he was 68.  I told him I was in awe of his ability…riding on hills with 6 to 10% grade, 5000 to 9900 feet in elevation.  I was at times having trouble walking and catching my breath in this thin air let alone pedaling a bike up a hill.  We noticed many gray-haired people riding and each one left me inspired.  

We camped next to another couple while in Yellowstone who, like David and I, lost their spouses, found each other and were having the time of their life traveling and enjoying what days left to them.  They were funny and so enjoyable that David and I hope to catch up to them again somewhere in these great United States!

This spontaneous-follow our nose-no plans trip has been pure joy!  I am glad to be able to do this that I have always dreamed about but more importantly have found someone to share the joy of discovery with.  It has made it that much more special.  We are not done yet.  We have begun our journey home but if it goes like we came it will be a zig-zag one for sure!

LIVING SPONTANEOUSLY

Living the good life!

If I had to choose one word to describe this summer it would be “Spontaneous.”  Having to be flexible due to my temporary living situation and finding a traveling soul mate who has shown me living out of a suitcase can be fun has made this summer most memorable.  

Meeting David has been a joy and in such a short time he has taken me to places I had only dreamed about or read about in books.  We presently are on a road trip now…no plans…just following our noses and it has been wonderful.  We started out saying goodbye to a friend up in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania.  Then decided spontaneously to head West…maybe Yellow Stone National Park.  But we have not taken a straight line…no, we decided to head up to the Niagara Falls, both the American and Canadian side.  Well heck, since we were there why not just drive across Canada and drop down the west side of the Great Lakes.  Since we are so close to Mackinac Island, why not go see that too!  And this is how it is going.  

Camping along the way has also been an experience.  I learn something new every day and eves dropping on conversations sends me into a fit of giggles….you tell me if I am wrong to laugh…I’ll share some of the things I have overhead while camping.

“My one end is bigger than your hole.”  (Now tell me how can I not laugh at this one!)

“I’m too far forward, I can’t reach my thing.”

“I’m glad you carry your stick with you.”

“I need more Vaseline.”

“I'm good. You sure got me going now!”

“You have to stick it in and pull it out. Stick it in and pull it out.” (I have no idea what they were doing, but I started to laugh so hard I got side stickers.”

“When it's cold I have trouble finding it. “

I think David is getting used to my spontaneous burst of laughter.  He is patient until I find self-control to share what took me there. I think he is beginning to think I am a bit daffy!

Traveling with David is a comedy all of its own.  We walked into a bar/restaurant one day and there were some rough looking bikers with their leather and beards.  David turns to me and says, “I use to be a biker you know.”  “ Oh yeah,” I replied in surprise. “What did you ride?”

“ An 18-inch Schwinn, with cards in the spokes.  It had a cool sound.”

When we were up in Maine, we left the campsite and headed up to New Brunswick, Canada.  Before leaving a lady told us that along the way we should check out this place where they had the best clam chowder she ever ate.  Not quite remembering, but thinking we might be close we turned into a road that took us on a small island, filled with lobster traps and middle classes homes.  As we drove around looking for a restaurant where there were hopes of finding this great clam chowder, we stopped and asked a guy who had just got out of his car.  “Hello Mister, someone told us we could find the best clam chowder around here.  Do you have any idea where this might be?” we asked.

“Well, let me think,” he says, “if you follow this around and turn left at the corner by the green house, and then take the second right…” pausing he gives us a funny look and continues, “You two look confused.  Follow me and I’ll take you there.”  With that, he jumps back into his car and drives us to the restaurant he thought we should try.  He was right.  Looking confused is our past time!

The funniest conversation I have had with David so far took place just as we were leaving for our trip.  I had not arrived at his place yet and he called to ask me if I could stop at Dick’s to pick up a canopy that was on sale.  I replied, “There are no Dicks between you and me.”  I then broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

There is just no good way to say it.  Who thought of ever naming their business Dicks.  Then as we drove through Minnesota we saw a chain of Dicks Family Food Marts.  Okay, there is more than one Dick!  I ain’t saying no more!

More to follow!

SO LONG DEAR FRIEND...UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

Lake Wallenpaupack Dam

Standing on the deck's edge I take my last look out over the valley and Lake Wallenpaupack as I prepare to say goodbye to a dear friend and a boatload of memories.  Times like this remind me how fleeting time is.  I stand and try to sear in my minds eye the view but know that the moment I close my eyes or turn my back it will be but a memory that with time will be harder to recall. 

With Audrey leaving for her new home in Door County, Wisconsin this October, there will be no call for me to return to this area.  No reason to drive down the road and pass a memory of my own with Pat and the kids camping at Willson Camp grounds, or fishing and getting the worst sunburn of my life while falling asleep in the back end of the boat while Pat fished in the front end on Fairview Lake.  

Yes, saying goodbye is a bittersweet moment.  Aging can make these moments feel tougher.  In our youth, we thought nothing of turning our back on where we stood and move on.  The change came easy for the most part because we were making it happen and replacing it with some new adventure, place or friend.  Aging does not allow for such quick replacements.  It takes time and good health, often both of these are elusive to an old person.

This makes me feel lucky.  As change is big on my plate these days with selling my home and basically living homeless until the completion of my new livings space, I am recognizing the importance of being flexible.  Living out of a suitcase for over 3 months will help you understand that.  Living in another person’s home will slam that fact in your face quickly.  I found I am either doing something (like traveling or visiting friends) or doing NOTHING…which after awhile gets to me.  So, to keep myself grounded and moving forward I have been lucky in finding a friend who likes to travel as spontaneously as I do, so in between doing NOTHING I have been traveling and building a new friendship which has been a joy!

Until we meet again Audrey, I say farewell and safe journey to your new home.  I will cherish the times we have spent together and look forward to traveling again to Door County and the Coyote Roadhouse for their delicious Pot Pie!

ALONE-LONELY-ALONE

In my youth, being alone as I would adventure out into the world was fun, exciting and full of promise.  In time, when I met my late husband, being alone now and then meant relieve from the pressure of life and raising the four babies.  After my husband died, being alone meant lonely.  Oh boy, what a difference!  It is all a matter of choice.  I chose to be alone when I was young or wanted to escape from the pressures of life, but being alone after losing a life partner is not a choice.

In the five years that he has been gone, the struggle was to find my way and develop a purpose in living and life.  I have been lucky.  Caring for someone through the dying process can be difficult when it happens over a long period of time.  In a discussion recently with a friend who is also a widow, we talked about the difference between losing someone over a long period of time vs a short or sudden loss.  And we both realized how fortunate we were in our journey.  When you care for someone over a long duration, there is a shared grief that happens between you and the one you love.  A long goodbye but time for words, tears, and a sharing that when death happens fast, does not occur. 

I found relieve at Pat’s passing.  A lifting of burdens.  That is when the loneliness hit me.  No purpose.  No one to care for.  No one to care about what I did, thought, or wanted.  The feeling of being a fish alone in the sea.  

I worked on finding a way to make peace with this period of my life.  I kept doing, and playing, and going places.  More often alone than not.  It was hard at times.  The feeling you could disappear off the side of a cliff wondering if anyone would notice.  Wondering how long I would be gone before anyone would check on me.  Not good thoughts and work had to be done to settle these feelings.

I never expected or counted on the idea that I would be lucky enough to ever find someone again.  I mean, look around.  There are more widows out there than single men to stand by their side. Life’s journey is what it is and we all must make peace where we stand.  And I did.  I kept moving and found I could get through the days.  Always being open to new experiences and meeting new people that opened the door to new adventures.  I love meeting new people and getting to know their story.  There are many heroes out in the world.  Many courageous souls who carry heartaches yet still find ways to enjoy their days.  I looked for them in my journey, always searching for clues on how to get through them myself.  

It took a while for me to be happy where I stood, but I did.  I am okay and began to make plans to find ways to play until the time comes that I can’t anymore.  Determined not to reach the end of my days with “coulda/shoulda’s” in my thinking.  

Loneliness was pushed away by my activities.  Oh, there still were those moments when I left an event where I was genuinely having a good time,  entered my car, closed the door and felt the hammer of my aloneness slam me in the face.  Those continue to be difficult to deal with at times.

Then something happened.  My willingness to continue to take chances, go places and meet new people placed me in the path of someone, who like me, was at peace with doing things alone, yet…there was that one spot missing…that one desire to have some shared experiences with someone.  Me, looking for someone to do some traveling with, share some experiences with and him just looking for someone to meet up with now and then, “A dinner or a movie,” he said. 

There we stood, fumbling with the rules of how to do this in our 70’s…yet each time we got together we discovered over and over again how wonderful to find that special someone to fill our days and share our experiences.  Both afraid to think of anything but the moment at hand, worried that to think anything else would jinx the good thing we have found, we continue to grow and plan and enjoy each time we are together.  

I don’t know where or how this will end.  We both are enjoying the times we are together and find ourselves making plans and wanting to share them with each other.  Being alone now is not so lonely, except for the fact that I miss him and hope always he misses me.  But alone now is not filled with the loneliness that I carried before I met him.  I am one lucky broad!

I LOVE FACEBOOK

I hear some say that Facebook is a waste of time.  They go on about how they don’t bother and don’t want anything to do with it. It’s just a bunch of fake news.  I will say that the politics of our nation has brought forth some crap that I could just as well do without, but I cannot disagree more with the premise that Facebook is a waste of time.  If not for Facebook I wouldn’t be able to keep up on the activities of my nieces, nephews, cousins, grandchildren, or long distance friends and family.  In a world that competes for our time, it is a joy to stay on top of what is going on with those who have played a role in my life.

Along with old high school classmates, long lost coworkers, or old neighbors from neighborhoods that I have long ago left, I occasionally hear from old friends from a childhood I don’t dwell on.  Recently I had another reach out on Facebook that has taken me back down memory lane.

As I have shared in my past blogs, my childhood is not anything I ever want to recall or live over.  Yet, with my adult life being what it is, I can’t help but ponder now and again where the idea of choice came from.  So the recent reach out from a childhood relationship took me down memory lane and reminded me that just because bad things happened to me, it never meant that there were not moments of happiness too.  After years of reflection, I believe it was this kind of moments that allowed me to see there were other ways of living, showing me that there was the choice of how to live that life.  In a child fraught with chaos and hurt, it as a seed that was planted that would show me one day how to do it different…living that is!

Specifically, there were two times in my childhood that provided me with the kind of insight that has carried me into my adult life.  One came from the period where my parents made friends with two families, the Reinharts and the Donats, that showed us some happy times surrounded by families who gave love freely.  It was a short period as most of my parent's friendships didn’t last too long, but still provided us a couple of summers that were full of fun and carefree days of joyful gatherings and childhood friendships.   For me, the Donat family has always carried a special place in my heart. First, their son, gave me my first ever kiss.  A girl just never forgets that!  But the family was full of life, love, and generosity.   I still can see Mrs. Donat making her homemade spaghetti sauce.  It was an all day process.  Tasting, testing, adding a pinch of this and a pinch of that.  I was fascinated by the process and recognized even at that age how much love and pride went into her sauce.  And the sauce?  I will tell you I have spent a lifetime searching for the flavor I remember from that time.  I remember the family being close, connected, and generous with each other.  When their friendship parted from my parents, it was a sad time for me.  I missed the fun that we experienced when they were around.

The other time was when I met Paul Leuthe’s family from Milwaukee.  They were a loving Catholic family and although Paul and I “liked” each other, it was his family and the love they displayed for each other that drew me in.  They are the reason I became Catholic.  I can still remember a weekend visit, surrounded by a table full of kids, waiting until midnight so they could order a pizza with sausage…a meatless Friday ritual.  They would invite me to attend church with them on Sunday and I found myself filled with the emotion of the service.  Once I graduated from high school and had a job working for the Navy, I would pass by St. Gilbert’s in Grayslake, Illinois, on my way home. I started attending Sunday Mass and then one day while driving home I pulled in, knocked on the rectory door, and announced to Father Laske that I wanted to convert.

“Getting married?” he asked. 

“No,” I responded.  “I just want to become Catholic.”

Both of these families showed me by their living, that there could be joy in sitting around a table, having discussions, playing games, and sharing.  Both of these families provided a peek into the kind of life I wanted to create for myself when I became an adult.  I got lucky.  I met a man who provided just that for me, so when I left Illinois at age 19, I never looked back.

Facebook has provided me an opportunity to say thank you (at least to one of these families), for showing me the possibility of living a loving life! 

Thank you!

PURLOIN OF THE PRIVY

So when you hang out with two old educators you pick up a different take on life in the Paupack neighborhood.   

When I visit my friend, I am surrounded by bucolic surroundings, with deer, bear, and the sounds of birds permeating my every core!  Who would think that the excitement in the neighborhood would be the purloining of the privy!  

The phone rang.  

“Someone purloined the privy!”  

“What?  The privy?”

“Yes, I saw them load it in the truck.”

“Call the neighbor and see what he knows.”

A few minutes later, after a call to the neighbor the phone rang again.  

“He’s not there so I didn’t find out anything.  We will wait until he gets back then I’ll check.”

So two little old ladies, sitting on the front porch watching the purloining of the privy…not knowing what to do, trying to figure out from a distance what is going on in the neighborhood wait for their friend's return to see if he knows the scoop on the privy.

I could only sit and giggle at the conversation between these two old friends.  

Coming home from a trip to the grocery store we hear the beep of the telephone message machine.  My friend goes to the phone and hears, “Harry is in jail.”  She hangs up.  Audrey calls her old friend and says, “Coffee’s on, pie cut, come down and tell me everything!”

“I’m not wearing my bra,” Tempe says.

“No one cares, just come over the way you are!”

So now we are all hanging out over coffee, pie, and the stories of police, gunshots, and road chases. 

“Things are just not the same as they use to be,” they lament.  

“Remember when the neighbor first moved in and I went to the door with flowers and some home baked goods and a welcome to the neighborhood?” Audrey asked.

“Yes, then we found out he was a thief!”  

Both robustly laughing at the memories of a neighborhood in transition, one gets the sense that these two are the last caretakers in their community.  

As I watch my friend prepare to leave her home and move out with her son in Wisconsin, I can’t help but wonder if she is not going to miss this life in Paupack and the old friends who can still make her feel young!

By the way, the privy was not purloined.  It was being repaired.  It took days to figure out, but it kept the two old friends on the lookout.  

Just keeping the neighborhood safe!