FINDING JOY IN THE MOMENT

Beauty found everywhere!

I received a letter the other day, in response to my book, “Wife to Widow to Single” about my journey into living life as a single person after a 45-year marriage.  In the letter, this woman said she had a hard time relating to everything in my book because she didn’t like her husband and his death was “the divorce I didn’t have the courage to get”.  

I sat dumbfounded by her comment and surrounded by an overwhelming sense of sadness for her.  How awful to have lived life with that thinking weaved into your living.  I cannot even relate.  After processing her letter, I became aware, one more time, about how lucky I have been in my adult life.  And trust me, luck is the word here.  My choices have all been a case of following my instincts, and for the most part, they have not backfired in my face.

Now don’t misunderstand, life has its moments…nothing is so perfect it could not be made better, but in the scheme of things, my adult life had one constant…that no matter what came up, no matter what tragedy affected me, I was and am surrounded by unconditional love and with that strength to move forward was made easier.  Learning to navigate my new life as a single person was as expected a zig-zag process, at times a rough one.  If I have learned anything in my 70 years, it is that life is never linear.  Two steps forward one back…getting cocky in how good things feel to only be knocked back on my heels by a moment or a memory, but always rising, moving forward and getting on with life.

I was asked this past weekend if I was happy.  And without hesitation, the answer is yes.  After five years of loss, I reached the point where I am okay where I stand.  I worked hard at being okay because to do otherwise would have only cheated me out of the time left to live. Pat did not want that for me and I would not have wanted any less for him.  I have given a lot to those around me and will continue to do so, but I also have reached a place where this is a new and joyful journey for me.  Last year, after researching, contemplating the consequences, and finally deciding I made some life changing decisions for myself.  With the offer and outreach from my younger son and his wife, I decided to put my home up for sale in January and move on to a place where I had more time and freedom to play. They are giving me my own corner in their home.  I am grateful to them for that because it allows me to go about and do things I have always wanted to do.  

Along the way, someone has crossed my path which has shown me that more possibilities may exist.  That too is a good thing.  

Like life, no one knows where it goes, but I do know that no matter what happens, or how things end up, I will as always, rise, move forward and get on with living.

I hope the lady who wrote me her sad letter gets that second opportunity in life and discovers the joy that can be had.  It takes work, acceptance, and a willingness to take chances.

I wish you luck…I wish everyone luck!