Back in June, I had indicated that I was thinking about what remains in life, where do I go, how do I get there and what do I do to make it happen. Traveling is high on my list. How to afford that when traveling alone has a surcharge…imagine. A penalty for having no one in your life. An odd thought really.
Anyway, a friend shared a website called “TrustedHousesitters.com”. Travel anywhere in the world and your lodging only costs your attention to the house and animals left by the owners. Not a bad tradeoff.
The other list of things to check was where to go to downsize both physically and financially. This has been what has taken up a lot of my time…getting an education about what is next. I am glad that I looked into this now while I am of sound mind and body. To deal with this later in the game means the kids would have to step up and take over and the issues that can arise for them can leave lifetime amounts of guilt…something I don’t want to create for them.
So I went searching for independent apartment living. Pennsylvania is a wonderful state to live in for seniors. The county has a Department of Aging that provides information that at first can overwhelm you. Here is what I have learned in this journey as a senior living alone.
First, there are two kinds of institutions out there….for profit and not-for-profit. When considering entering one of these, know that they look at your financial status and in most cases won’t accept you if you do not possess enough money to carry you through their statistical time period of needing assisted living. So if you live and die suddenly…this is good. If you live and go from living to nursing home care, this too is doable. But if your life finds you needing long term assisted living, well, let’s just say this is the part that will drain your bank faster than water over a damn. And although these senior institutions don’t want to kick you out due to lack of funds, they will.
Now some have a benevolent society within the institution, but if your needs go beyond what they want to carry, you will be asked to leave the facility. Good luck family! In some instances, an application for financial need can be exercised but in these cases, the senior needs to be destitute.
Let me share a story of a women I met and talked with regarding an incident with her father. Her mother had died when she was a young women. Her father never remarried. Living a bare bones life his senior years found him barely making ends meet. No pension…no savings…just social security and even that did not keep up with inflation over the years making it impossible to live on his $900 a month. She and her husband built an in-law suite in their home and for over 15 years they lived compatibly together. The father had put the daughter’s name on his checking account…just in case. Over the years the son-in-law would do odd jobs for his neighbors or friends and would stick some of the money into his father-in-law's account to allow for those needs of the father without him having to ask for help.
So it went until Dad had a stroke. With the daughter and son-in-law both working, they were forced to place Dad into an assisted living facility where they immediately applied for financial aid. Accepting him based on what they showed as Dad’s income, and sure he would qualify for help, they waited to hear that everything would be okay. Protocol for the financial aid is to do an audit of the financial status of the senior requiring help. The shock came back to the daughter when the facility phoned her to say their Dad did not qualify because the audit showed that he had $75,000 more than they indicated during the time period prior to entering the facility. The daughter tried to explain it was their money in the Dad’s account and the reason they put the money into the checking account was to allow Dad the freedom to care for his needs without having to ask for it from her.
The facility said this money had to be counted as the Dad’s unless they could prove it was their money. Now forced to hire a lawyer the facility said those items that were deposited as checks showing the son’s name could be subtracted from the amount on the table, but those monies placed into the account as cash would remain on the table as Dad’s, so now they had to pay the facility $32,000 and again Dad was not eligible for aid. They were forced to withdraw their father from the facility, take out a line of credit against their home and repay the facility the amount owed for Dad’s care.
Stories like this remind us what hardships can occur when we linger our senior years in a disabled condition needing assistance but not nursing care.
Talking with this young women helped me solidify my own decision on where to go next.
More to follow…..
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