Why is it, that the older we are, the faster time goes? Even slowing down and enjoying the simple moments of living, seem to go by fast. I get up and before I know it the day is gone and I have to pause and consider what I have done in the day.
The hardest part of getting older is dealing with the loss of those around us. For us, who find ourselves the oldest in our generation left standing, it is odd to see that no one who started this journey with us, is there by our side when it is our time to go. We remember our youth when for many life seemed simple and free. For people like me, it is my young adult life, when the freedom of choice lay at my feet and the world seemed mine to grasp.
I am working on a project that is presenting me with a look back on my life. It seems a dream at times, and yet I can still smell the river water as I watched Pat fish, or the smell of my newborn baby’s head. These moments fill me with unbelievable emotions and remind me of a life once lived.
But today is life too. What does it hold for a body that slowly moves on, and the mind is still full of youth and vigor? What does it take to live the twilight years of our life with as much vigor and purpose as it did when we were 20, 30 or 40?
I know one thing, staying in and isolating oneself is surely not the answer. Getting out, doing for others, finding purpose and giving ones self away to others in need seems to me the only way to move along in this part of life.
As I walk through the halls of a nursing home, and see the far away look in the eyes of our aged, I wonder what they were like when their bodies had not failed them. I find myself wondering what kind of a young person they were. What were their dreams? Who did they love? What was their fears? What brought them the greatest happiness?
When do we cross that line of not living fully, not giving of ourself completely, or searching for that purpose in life? Is it because our body won’t allow it? Or, I wonder if it is the depression of loss that freezes us in time, shutting us down, and closing the door to living that life with purpose and joy that we were once capable of.
My son and daughter-in-law know a ninety plus year old man who still gives to the youth in their church. Not necessarily money (although he may very well do that also)…but his time and his energy. I have thought a lot about him recently as I search for my own purpose in today. I think, in him and others like him who continue to engage in the people around them, are the secrets to living fully and with joy in our hearts.
The traveling that I have done this summer, along with observing those around me who are older and still engaged in the world have taught me much about what i want to do with my life as it continues. I am content in the day, and at peace where I stand. My children are all very self sufficient and their need of me is minimal. So it is time for me to reach out and find that one place where I can be of service to others. I want to continue to live life with vigor and the joy of purpose.
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