RETURNING TO REALITY

I have another bucket-list item checked off my list today.  For over 40 years I have always wanted to be at the ocean when a good storm would bring up the waves and pound the shore line.  With Hurricane Arthur moving up the east coast, it’s power is being felt in the thunderous surf.  As the day went on, the heaving of the waves, and thunderous sounds of the ocean roar filled the shore community .  

The sad part for the little ones this week is that the fire works they so looked forward to are postponed until the evening of our departure.  But as the evening rolled on individuals up and down the shore line set off fireworks—enough to satisfy anyone wanting to see the colors of the red, white and blue.  It still is a week of wonderful memories.

But tonight, as I stood on the waters edge it filled me with so many emotions.  I enjoy walking the edge of the ocean when the rest of the world has abandoned the beach, but my sense of aloneness filled me in ways I have yet to be able to describe. Everyone has left except for my one son and his family and they are walking the beach searching for sea treasures.  I am getting a glimpse of what remains when they all return to their lives…me.  I have never felt so connected as I was when I was a wife and young mother.  Today I am an observer of what use to be.  Surrounded by purpose and partnership was the most fulfilling part of my life.  Without it, I am lost and trying hard to find a way to accept this and enjoy the days left to me.   

As I look around me  at those who have lost a loved one, and are as old or older than I am, I wonder what they have done in their life to accept this change.  I want to know if the smile I see on their face is genuine or just a mask that hides the truth inside their soul.  

I never believed that accepting the changes in life would be linear or easy.  I miss having that special someone to talk over life's challenges and daily happenings.  I write I guess, because it is all I have to process what goes on inside my head.  Some days it is not enough, but I keep on keeping on!

SOUVENIRS FROM THE BEACH

Happy July 4th!  Today is the last full day of our family vacation in Sea Isle City.  Although,  Hurricane Arthur is playing havoc with any 4th of July plans, the rest of the week has been good.  

Treasurers have been gathered from the ocean’s edge by both adults and kids.  Stones, shells, conch…oh the conch.  Aaron found the first one—and the biggest one—Scott found the second one and Lauren came in last night with one she found lying on the beach.  The conch finds brought more smiles than anything else we have experienced all week.  In all my years this is the first time I have seen them outside of a seaside gift shop.  The colors on the finds have been beautiful too.  

I love watching Lauren stroll up and down on the beach in search of any treasure the ocean releases.  She gets this beautiful glow on her face and you know she is having fun.  In fact, as I write this, she and Honor are at the beach in search of new treasures in the rains from Hurricane Arthur.  

Last night Leighton, my grandson, caught a small shark.  “Did you hear about the man who caught a shark with his bare hands?” he asks with that glint in his eye.  “A manly man”, he says with a smile and then a bigger smile when you finally learn it was him!  

Logan (7) and Ella (5), the youngest of the grandkids, are the most fun to watch return from the beach.  “Look, Grammy!”, they shout.  “Look what we found!  Aren’t they pretty?”  Sand buckets filled with shells and stones, all treasures to take home—souvenirs from the beach!

Chewie spent most all his time like this
on the front porch at Sea Isle City.

There has been laughter—much laughter.  The boys have been the source of most of that.  I do believe true to a man’s form, they never stop being kids.  Friends of the family, Scott and Meredith were here with us in the beginning of the week.  Scott and Aaron, my youngest son, are a duo together that brings mischief wherever they go.  The man next door said to us, “Boy after Scott left it got quiet here.”    We laughed.  Our family reputation is in tack, we can blame it all on Scott, despite the fact that we know who is the real culprit.  

I will be sad to see this time with my family end.  I needed to see and feel my family around me and in today’s world of crazy work schedules and kid activities it can be a challenge to make it happen.  I thank all of them for accepting my invitation to gather together. I hope they all were able to find their own souvenirs from the beach.

CELEBRATING THE 4TH OF JULY WITH PRIDE

The first thing my son Justin did when he and his wife Stacy arrived here in Sea Isle City to join us for the family 4th of July gathering was to put up his Seabee flag.  A pride he has earned by serving our country for 20 years as a Navy Seabee.  

The 4th of July brings to the forefront our family history of service.  I am the family historian and have spent 44 years gathering stories and facts about our ancestors.  Service to our country is threaded throughout our family history.  From the Revolution to my son’s recent retirement from the Navy, the men in our family have stood up and served our country with pride.

I am lucky to have pictures and discharge papers from our 2nd great grandfather George Daniel Pifer, Major in the Civil War, grand father, John Ford, Sgt. in Calvary for the Army in World War I,  and my father, William E Brown, Army, World War II.  Prior to the Civil War we have ancestors on both sides of our family who were involved in the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812.

Along with those mentioned, we have an Uncle, who enlisted and served for both the Navy and Army following World War II, my husband was in the Navy before being injured and retired disabled, my brother-in-law served during Vietnam in the Air Force, my brother served the Air Force and retired after 20 years service, (he met his wife who was also serving in the Air Force) along with his son is presently serving in the Air Force aiming for a 20 year retirement, and also my younger son also served in the Air Force for 4 years.  

We owe it to our young men and women today to weigh carefully the obligation we ask of them.  When so few of us carry so many of us on their back we need to make sure we not only keep our promises to them, but promise them that any time we ask them to go out in combat to serve our political needs, we do it with great deliberation.

Happy 4th of July to all, especially to those who have given their life to enable us to celebrate this great holiday.