MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

     Isn’t it funny how we are glad to see a year end and a new one begin?  What is it about starting over?  It is the one thing that our society invites us to do all the time.  Every morning is a new day.  Every 1st of the month is a new beginning.  Every new year is a chance to start over.  

     Six years ago when I was grieving the loss of Pat, my best friend and husband of 45 years,  I mentioned how I felt a bit overwhelmed at the thought that I alone was now totally responsible for every decision in my life.  No more sharing…no more compromise.  Just make a decision and move on…only wrapped in the fear of making a mistake.  Then one day while driving using my GPS, I made a turn different from what the GPS wanted me to do and the GPS calmly announced. ”Recalculating.”  It was then that I realized making a decision that didn’t work out was not a life-threatening moment…if something does not turn out, you just change direction and keep moving.  Letting go of the fear of “what if” is step one and recalculating a new direction is step two.  

     Miranda and I had the joy of hearing Michelle Obama speak on her new book this past week.  She said to all of us to embrace fear, for it can become the one roadblock that will bring failure and disappointment…and fear will come into and out of our life until our very last breath.  “So learn early to see fear as a healthy step to change,” she said.  “Embrace it,” she said.

     Discovering love the second time around is sweet, kind and especially a surprise.  While traveling on our 17,000-mile road trip, Dave and I met an 87-year-old woman who had recently lost her husband.  For her whole life she wanted to camp…and so she was.  In her car.  We watched her set up a table with a cook stove, and prepare her evening meal.  No tent…no camper…just her car and her little table.  We saw her end her day by snuggling down into the car seat and sleep for the night.  The next day we shared a meal with her and learned that she wanted to camp before she died.  She didn’t want to leave anything on her wish list.  In fact, on a recent cruise she had met a man who she fell in love with and when she returns to Vancouver, Canada, her home, he is going to join her and they are planning to be married.  I walked away feeling her life lesson…that life isn’t over until you cannot breathe anymore!  Embrace it, continue to make plans, dream and live it to the fullest!  That is how I would describe this year.  

     I have had a chance to fulfill many of my wish-list items and even discover some wonderful moments that I didn’t know would make me feel so happy!  The road trip with Dave was just that and more.  We left the end of June and returned in October.  We had no plans, no commitments, and every day was filled with spontaneous decisions.  It was a joy to experience, yet when we both landed back home…H-O-M-E…it was a sweet moment.  To walk in the familiar,  feel the loving kind embrace of family and friends who missed us…to not feel lost or turned around, was a joy too.  The trip Dave and I took together, made me appreciate my home and at the same time filled me with the knowledge that home is wherever your heart lands.  

     I cannot tell you what the new year will bring for me.  The fact is I don’t care.  During this past couple of years, I have learned to just embrace each day as a new beginning, a new adventure, and a new understanding of myself and what is important to me.  I have also learned that you cannot make people love you if they choose not to, and you cannot force yourself into others lives if they won’t let you in and I have decided that is okay too.  I will keep my myself open to all possibilities no matter where it takes me, or how it ends…for at the end, when my last breath leaves me, I know, at this moment, I have had the joy and privilege of experiencing the best of what life has to offer.

     My happiness comes to me in my time with Dave, my family, friends, and especially my grandchildren.  The joy of watching them grow into beautiful young adults, full of compassion and empathy for the world around them…sassy and spirited and with the connection to the family brings me more joy than I can possibly measure.  Hearing my text buzz with a reach out that says, “Hi Gram.  How are you?” fills my day with sunshine.  Having the privilege of finding love the second time around with Dave is the sweet surprise of my life.  And attending the wonderful events my children and grandchildren participate in allows me to celebrate life with them and I thank them for wanting me to be a part of it.

I wish for you all, the peace, joy, and celebration that fills your life with sweet surprises.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

IT IS THE SEASON OF HOLIDAYS!

Grandson Leighton at the Dog Train Party!

 I am going to just put it out there.  I am a kid during this time of year!  From the time, the first leaves start displaying their brilliant colors through the first snow fall my adrenaline flows fast and free!

Life, and I mean my adult life…started for me October 7, 1966.  Driving cross country through the mountains with the brilliant glow of the reds, yellows and golds of the trees welcoming me to Pennsylvania, I entered into a family that was grounded in unconditional love and I could feel the change and I embraced it’s every core!  

A holiday has never been just the day for me.  There is such joy in the planning, the preparation and the day….well the day for me is sitting back and watching all those I love and care for enjoy themselves.  

Halloween presents itself with a chance for me to dress up with the kids and go trick-or-treating.  As they got older and didn’t hang with “M-O-M”, I would dress up anyway and greet the kids at the door.  One year I dressed in an old black witches outfit, with a big hat.  I sat on our porch with a large bowl of goodies, head down and still, and when I would see their feet I would pop my head up with a scary “Happy Halloween”.  Those who came to my door grew to know that Mrs. Ford would be doing something silly.  

The pumpkins and fall decorations would hang around through Thanksgiving.  Joined by the pilgrims and the great planning for our Thanksgiving meal.  The Ford family gathered either at Grammy Ford’s or my house.  We are a foodie family which always creates such great excitement amongst us.  The joy for me as I watched the Ford family gather was how, no matter how much time had passed between visits with one another, there was always such a great presence of celebration (and without the drunk fighting).  The tradition carries on today at my son and daughter-in-law’s home.  

Christmas….ah Christmas.  I feel sorry for those who put all their effort into just THE day.  For me, from the moment Thanksgiving is done until I am forced to take the holiday decorations down, it is Christmas.  When my kids were young we would do the advent wreath.  It was such a joy to stop the day's hectic schedule, light a candle, pray and read a Christmas story to them.  Letting each one take a turn to open the advent calendar door or window.  One year to add the spirit of love and the spirit of giving to the lesson I began the tradition of a “secret Santa”.  They had to draw each other’s name, keep it a secret and at least once a week do something nice for that person and not tell them.  It was only at the end that they were allowed to share who they were.  

Along with the normal prep for the holiday I would have the kids make things to give as presents, instead of buy them.  One year we created a calendar and they had to pick a date at least once a month and write a promise to that person.  During the year, we had to keep track and fulfill that promise.  It could be a car wash, a visit to the grandma’s, or bring a dinner to them.  Grammy Ford told me once this was her favorite!  

Our neighborhood after a storm!

One year I drew a picture of Grammy Ford’s house and we had notecards made up.  The kids helped me find the right little basket, and we wrapped them and put ribbons around them.  I can still remember how excited they were. 

There was always the homemade Christmas decorations for the tree.  I loved teaching them the lessons of giving.  

New Year celebrations would round out the season.  They were always fun, yet not rowdy or crazy.  A small gathering of friends, or a dinner.  But a round-robin of phone calls to the family not there always came at midnight.  

When the older generation passed, it took a couple of years for new traditions to take hold.  In my life since losing Pat, I take great comfort in the fact that I know what we are doing for these family gatherings.  Life is so busy the rest of the year, and there can be many lonely moments, but not the holidays.  It is a time for us to come together and celebrate each other, catch up, and be reminded of what is truly important to our life, and that is the love we hold for each other.