ATTITUDE AND CHOICES

A neighbor stopped by to wish me well in the next chapter of life and told me that she is going to miss my laugh and my positive personality.  She asked me how I can be such an optimist with all I have experienced in life.  “Attitude and choice”, I said.  It’s not what has happened to me that matters so much, but choosing my attitude in how I handle things is what is important.  I keep a quote in my wallet by an author, Robert Heinlein who once wrote, “Don’t ever become a pessimist…a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun—and neither can stop the march of events.”  

Early in life I learned that hanging on to anger or hurt over events out of my control only cheated me out of the life I wanted to live.  It took awhile for me to grasp this idea, but once I did, it became my personal mantra for living life to the fullest.  When you hang on to the dark stuff in life, it not only affects you but those close to you.  In my case, I believed a childhood lost was enough to pay for a life worth living.  The freedom of adulthood, the willingness to accept the consequences of my own choices, and the ability to not run from truth continue to be my guide through the best days of my life.  

Don’t misunderstand, there can still be moments when the emotions of events long past will rise up and show itself to the world, but I am better at recognizing them now than I was as a young girl, and I have learned to let it rise up and then release it.  I am unable to box it up, contain it, stuff it or leave it to grow in a dark corner…no, I have learned not to be afraid of the emotions and understanding the origin makes it easier to handle the present.  The old saying, “truth will set you free” is true for me.  I have learned that dealing with the truth, even when it is painful is so much better to deal with than the secrets and lies. Secrets steal your power.  

Age has given me patience with my expectations.  Accepting that life is not perfect and developing a set of tools to handle those disappointments is critical to living a full life. When I speak to the young woman about self-empowerment I try to convey that self-worth lies within all of us.  We have to want it.  We have to believe that we deserve it.  And most important you have to want to work for it until it becomes what you think then you can become what you want and create the life you desire.

First thing in the morning I choose to start my day with “Ok, Marlene, let’s go make this the best day we can.”  It gets me off to a good start.  So let’s all go for it…go out and make this the best day you can!

Live, love, and laugh hard…the alternative is no fun!