There is nothing funny about Comedian Nicole Arbour. She is getting a lot of attention these days for her “Fat Shaming” video by those who have the courage to produce their own video fighting back. The truth is, fat shaming is not just what Nicole Arbour does, it is what many do. I believe it is the accepted form of bullying. When is the last time you heard anyone say to someone who makes fat crude jokes, that they should not. I haven’t. I would be interested to hear if you have.
I am going to lay it out there…I have never been thin. NEVER! In 5th grade, my report card shows that I was 1/2 inch off my adult height and weighed 155 pounds. A weight I carried right up to my first pregnancy when I was 23 years old. Each of my four pregnancies added some weight (reaching 175 lbs) until I became the long-term caretaker of my dying husband in which I gained my most weight…a weight I carry today. No excuses…it’s just what happened. I have been on many diets over my life time. I would initially lose weight but eventually it came back to where I started.
Carrying weight above what society says should be, has taken its toll on my self-esteem and emotional well-being. Starting in those elementary years right up through today, I can honestly say not a day passes that I don’t experience something by someone that lets me know I am fat.
In my 8th grade class from Gavin Grade School, we had a tradition of signing autograph books as our class graduated elementary school heading off to high school. Some of the boys in my class filled my book with poems reading, “Fatty, fatty, two by four, can’t get through the kitchen door….” sending me out with a life time of insecurities and self conscience and negative attitudes towards myself. And in my case, this treatment was only the frosting on a cake that was already soured by a complicated childhood.
I never had a safe place from “fat comments.” Over the years, conversations with long distance relatives would often include a question, “lose any weight lately?” It would sting, but I would brush it off the best I could.
Look, I get how weight can be a detriment towards good health, but at the same time I also recognize that sometimes weight is caused by more than poor choices. My daughter suffers from Polycystic ovary syndrome, which showed up while she was in college. One noticeable symptom of POS is weight gain. It is heartbreaking to watch how differently someone you love is treated just because they carry more weight than what is “acceptable” by society standards.
Yes, bullying comes in many forms. And the video that Nicole Arbour produced is a form of bullying. In a society where we celebrate those who call people who disagree with them “losers” and name call anyone different than themselves, I don’t know how to expect anything different. I am filled with sadness when I see how we tolerate being cruel to one another. I cannot change the world, but I can choose to be kind and accepting to those around me, no matter how different they are as compared to me.
9/8/2015
Marlene,
ReplyDeleteI feel like you have just described my life in school. I too was heavy all through school. I was teased (by today's standards it would be bullied) by so many people. I was called Little Lottie. Many times I went home in tears only to have to go through it again the next day. I didn't have teachers or school staff who would stop the comments. You just dealt with it and kept your feelings to yourself.
My entire life has been spent struggling with weight issues. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I am tired of it taking up so much of my time. I vow to be a happy person and if people don't like what they see, I suggest they look in the mirror because they ain't all that themselves.
Thanks for your voice. By the way, I'm a friend of Dawn Wander. WOW, that girl is crazy......lol