I HATE SCAMS AND SCAMMERS!!!!

I HATE SCAMS AND SCAMMERS!  Did I say that loud enough?  I have done everything I can to stop these annoying calls.  I have signed up on the “Do Not Call” list more than once.  I have tried the “Stop the Robo” caller program…that has not stopped them.  I have ignored the calls with numbers I don’t recognize, but the annoyance of the consistent ringing drive me crazy. I began to take the call making sure it was indeed a non-legitimate caller then I would block the number.  In 3 days…yes, that is 3 days I filled my allotted number of calls I am allowed to block in my phone system.  One would think that having caller ID would help stop them, but they have even managed to get around identifying who they are with that.  Often when I have called the number back, I get that the number has been disconnected.  How can that be?  That number just rang my phone!!!

Over the years I have taken down all their information and then called my local government office…only to be told not to answer the call.  Then I called my local consumer advocate…only to be told to just hang up.  Once when I was so tied up caring for my dying husband, I called the police to see if I could get the Bucks County Police Association to stop calling and they told me,  “There was nothing they could do, and by the way, do not donate to them,” he said, “we get nothing from them.”  Great.

Why is it so hard to figure out what to do to stop them.  In one of my evil moments, I wished I had one of those loud piercing sound makers to blow into the phone once a real person gets online.  I figure if I take away their hearing they would give up calling!

Once I even gave them a bunch of phony information just to get rid of them. I told the foreign sounding voice on the other end of the line that my name was  Dumbia Scammershit.  

I have resorted to pretending I was deaf.  “Hello!”  They would try and say something, and I would interrupt with “Hello…are you there?”  “What?”  “Speak louder I cannot hear you.”  Eventually, with me screaming on the phone, they would hang up.

Another time when the caller would ask their question, I would answer with gibberish, making no sense and having nothing to do with their question.  They would eventually hang up also.

Once I startled a person with, “I am so glad you called.  You need to call the police.  I think I just killed an intruder who came into my house.  He looks familiar…similar to my husband,” I said…eventually they hung up too.

The scariest call I ever had was years ago when my husband left for his second shift job, I got a call asking if I was Mrs. Ford.  He then identified himself (this was before caller ID) as the State Police and that my husband was just involved in an auto accident and could I call someone over to my home while I head to the hospital.  Something told me to call the State Police to confirm the event, and that is when I found out that this was a scam call and the police would never call with that kind of information.  They would send an officer in person.  

Remember years ago when Olean Mills would call and offer up a free 8x10 family photo just for letting them send a photographer to the home to snap the series of photos to choose from?  We all knew the scam.  Take the photos then do a high-pressure pitch to get you to buy a very expensive package.  As a mother of four young children, I did not have the time for such nonsense.  I said no.  Then no again.  And no one more time.  After a bit, the caller asked, “Why Mrs. Ford would you not want a beautiful family photo to cherish the rest of your life?”  After a bit of a pause, I responded in a very serious tone with, “Because sir, you just don’t understand.  My children are so ugly I never take their pictures.  People would just laugh and stare.”  The dead silence at the other end of the phone told me all I needed to know and the calls stopped.

Lately, the “IRS” scammer calls and the “PECO” scammer calls are ringing me two to three times a day.  I let them know they are a scammer and for the most part, the IRS people just hang up.  But the PECO scammers have actually started arguing with me.  Today when they called, I asked them how they could live with themselves scamming people out of their hard-earned money and hung up.  Not that they care but I was hoping the “Mother’s Voice” I shot out there would get to them.  

I am not naive to think anyone could talk to these lowlife-scumbag-bastards into caring. I have decided that it is time to make a daily political call to plead with my congressmen to come up with a way to stop this.  Elderly people especially are so vulnerable to this kind of crap and sadly too many times are scammed out of their money, and it is sad that there is nothing that can be done about it.  

If any of you out there have any ideas, I am open to hearing them.  

“HELLO, WHAT DID YOU SAY?”  “I CAN’T HEAR YOU…SPEAK LOUDER PLEASE.”  “HELLO!”  “ARE YOU THERE?”

Oh I am sorry, I am practicing for my next scammer call.  

VICTIM NO LONGER

I’ve been uneasy lately.  Sometimes it takes me time to figure these things out within myself as to why.  Hearing the hate rhetoric of this political campaign I know is part of it, so I have taken to tuning it out and making myself busy doing more enlightened activities.  

But then the other day I happen to be listening to the radio when Trump was speaking.  He announced that when the election is over, he plans on suing all the women who have stood and said he sexually assaulted them and the crowd cheered.  Like a thousand shards of glass, I felt pain from every one of those who cheered him on.  

My life has not been without its bullies.  For 11 years I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and rape.  I was the keeper of the secret because I was told if I told anyone what was happening, I would be the one to get into trouble.  What does a 5-year-old know when an adult says that to them?

It took me until I was 17 to find the courage to speak the truth out loud.  In the end, I found power in letting the truth out, but not before my family abandoned me with accusations of my being a slut, whore and out just to get the uncle’s money.  But for the fact that I met my husband who showed me a different way of life I wonder where I would be today?

In my work life, I ran into two more bullies.  A job I had in a local printing shop had a supervisor who made inappropriate comments to all the women in the plant when they went about doing their business.  Then one day when I was working in the office in the early evening, that same supervisor came in and as usual standing over me, making his crude comments suddenly slipped his hand inside my shirt top.   I did not hesitate to take the incident to my boss.  An investigation took place supporting my story, the supervisor retired early with a “secret” retirement party, and then began a year long ugly shop talk by the “good ole boys club” of the plant.  In fear when I left work at night in the dark, I would find graffiti on my car or a flat tire.  Stage whisper conversations would occur as I walked out into the plant, talking about me as if I could not hear.  Running to the HR people was not feasible…how could I complain about every time I was made to feel uncomfortable.  So I endured.  A year later I left that job for another.

In my last job, I worked one year for an interim assistant principal covering for my boss who moved over to the Principal’s seat while that person was on sabbatical.  For one year, he bullied and badgered and went out of his way to let me know how he felt about me by either what he did or didn’t do.  At the end of the year when I was called into the office to discuss the Mum that was left on my desk every Monday with an upbeat note of encouragement, i.e., “The sun will come up tomorrow!  Love Annie”.  An accusation was brought against me as if I were the one who instigated the gift of the motivating Mum every Monday.  When I fought back, I was told just to buck up, that the end of the year was coming and this would be behind me.

I started with nightmare dreams like I had in the early years before my voice had been heard about the abuse I was experiencing.  I was initially puzzled as to why my abuse issues were rising.  Then, one day, when the year was behind me, it came to me.  That sense of abandonment by my boss, who instead of standing up for me, asked me just to endure the moment and let it pass.  “Be a good soldier”, he said.

The more powerful the bully, the harder it is for a victim to step up.  No one steps up without consequences.  Loss of family.  Loss of friends.  A feeling of being alone and knowing the truth and nowhere to turn.   It can be a lonely walk.

Being a victim is not easy.  Being let down by those around you is worse.  It took me a long time to come to terms with that part of it.  As I watched the ladies who have been harmed by Bill Cosby and now Donald Trump, I find myself saying, “You go girl!  Stand up to the bully!”  

For that is what men like this are.  They believe they have the right and their money allows them to push back hard.  I have learned over my course of living, that finding the courage to speak the truth even when others do not want to hear it, frees me.  I can breathe again.  I can walk with my head high, even when my heart breaks at the crush of words that may come.  I know the truth, just as the women who find themselves standing up to these men do.  There is a journalist, Michele Goldberg of Slate Magazine, who offered women a chance to share their personal story of bullies in the workplace.  She was unprepared for the avalanche of response.  It is not a club that anyone has asked to join.  It is not an easy club to belong.  But speaking the truth not only shines for others looking to do so but frees ourselves up to live the life we are entitled to live.  I am proud to be a survivor.  To not have let the bullies ruin my life.  I am one of the lucky ones.

To all of you who cheer Donald Trump on when he says he plans on suing these woman when this election is over, I pray your daughter never has to experience this pain.  And to those who have a story to tell, email Michele Goldberg, she wants to hear your story.  michelle.goldberg@slate.com

And to those who need light…I share the following:

“Don't judge yourself by what others did to you.” 

― C. Kennedy, Ómorphi

“You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren't alone.” 

― Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children

“Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile.” 

― Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children